Perception

The perception of one’s reality varies greatly on the opposing views. You see, why one may believe that another's life is easygoing and care-free, in the eyes of that person it may seem like hell, the work and effort to maintain such a "perfect" life.

I introduce that because it’s sort of the way people see MY life...I hate it when my life is viewed from other eyes because of the way they try to diminish my problems per say, as my life is just so fucking easy and the problems that I encounter are nothing but exaggerated. That makes the saying, something about walking in my shoes, much more evident.

I may possibly be exaggerating about the context about my life. Maybe not owning a car isn't a major deal and every job is a 40 minute walk isn't so bad. Maybe worrying about electric and gas and the cell phone bill I have to tend to monthly isn't shit. Of course not! What about the job that I have, which is constantly tried because, as I'm not an unattractive male & only about 6 years from the students I teacher, they obviously don't show me the same respect they show an older person. Shit, my life being rough? Of course not! I mean, there are kids in Africa that have no food and probably have A.I.D.S. Or the old man that is forced out of retirement because of the fucked up economy.

You know what? Fuck you. It’s my life and it’s evidently challenging to me. I do not find it easy, remotely tolerable or the least bit fun. Of course there are times when I feel like the luckiest or happiest person in the world. I just don't feel like I have that much happiness that alleviates the stress of the life I have. I'm 19 and have gray hair. Seriously? Gray hair? It's not a problem of making my problems bigger than what they are because my problems are big enough. My life isn't easy...

But I guess it isn't the worse life. As I said before, I could be some starving kid in Africa with A.I.D.S. I just don't know if that's enough for me to sleep at night.