Friday, December 23, 2011

Depreciated Values

Every person shows humility. Some people show it much too late.

I tend to do the latter, I also allude various things, even on here. I have a personal blog and, while I talk about my life and my problems on here, you or anybody else who reads this blog doesn't actually know me or understand exactly what's in my head. The beauty of mental privacy, eh?

Well, I've officially had a girlfriend for roughly 4 months, and I was talking to her for around 7-12 months before then. Girl is probably the cutest and most consistent I've been with, her personality screams "please my boyfriend", but she's unmoving and stern, like a true Latina.

You'd expect me to be trying to talk to her directly, but there's a limit on what I will and won't do. Oh shit, pardon me, you don't even know what happened, right? I called my girl a bitch on a high rant. I punctuated it with confirming it when she asked what did I call her. I lost mi chica when she hung up promptly afterwards.  Shit didn't really hit me until she told me she was deleting herself out of my life and we would "never again" talk. It hit me hard enough for the weed to quickly lose gas as I started to realize it was over. All the regret I didn't have rushed over me, and a sharp pain took over my left side. It's rare when I cause a self-inflicted wound,  but it was entirely my fault. It was petty...I should have never called my lady a bitch, no excuses, but the point I'm trying to make is this.. Why should I even attempt to get her back? If I try and she shoots me down (the most likely event) ...I just don't want to get played, especially by a..the woman I love. Is that pride? Or is it...fear?

No matter how frustrated you become...don't call her a bitch.

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